


Bad For You

by hvrricancs



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-08-11 04:13:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20147446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hvrricancs/pseuds/hvrricancs
Summary: After Rue overdosed, she spent a lot of time with her family and Lexi, who was doing her best to try and help her. After a month had passed, Jules showed up, and she was shocked by what she discovered.





	1. Chapter 1

The past month had been tough for Rue, and she felt broken, embarrassed and ashamed. The words that Nate Jacobs had told her at prom were repeating in her head. For her, it was a bit ironic. She'd been doing well, her and Jules seemed to be in a good place, and she straight up told him that she could do a lot better at ruining her life than he could - and she did. She could have left with Jules, stayed sober, but she didn't. There were so many thoughts racing through her mind that was telling her how horrible of an idea it would be to go with her. She loved her, but she couldn't just up and leave the way Jules wanted her to. It wasn't that simple. It took so much in her to not get on the train and go with her. And just watching Jules break down in front of her caused her to do the same. She felt terrible, but she just couldn't go. Rue had been staying sober for Jules, not for herself. That was where everything went wrong. 

Rue had been having a really tough month without Jules, but she had her sister, her mom (even though her mom was a pain in the ass half the time and always on her about drug tests), and she had Lexi. Lexi was always checking up on her, trying her best to make sure she was okay. Rue was still struggling staying sober, but Lexi did what she could. There was only so much a person could do, but an addict wasn't going to get better until they wanted to get better. Lexi knew that. While the two of them were watching a movie, she heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Lexi told Rue before standing up and walking over toward the door. As she opened it up, she was surprised to see Jules. 

Jules looked nervous, and even she seemed surprised to see Lexi instead of Jules. "Hey, Is Rue in there? Can I come inside?"

Lexi took a deep breath and shook her head at her, stepping outside and closing the door part way. "Jules? Why are you here?"

"What do you mean why am I here? I'm here to see my best friend. Can I come inside?"

If this had been a few months ago, she would have moved to the side and let Jules in, but things were different now. Rue was so hurt, and she fucking overdosed over what happened between her and Jules. Lexi felt this huge feeling of needing to be protective over Rue, and she refused to let everything get fucked up again. "After everything that happened? Why are you just showing up now?"

A puzzled look crossed her features, and Jules didn't understand what she was talking about. Letting out a light laugh, she shook her head and stared at Lexi. "What do you mean? I wanted Rue to come with me, but she didn't want to. It broke my heart she didn't come, so I gave her space... maybe too much space. I'm here now, and I miss her. Why can't I just come inside?" Jules blinked and tilted her head to the side. 

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then what are you talking about?"

For some reason Lexi assumed Jules knew about the overdose, because the two of them had become inseparable for so long. Rue and Lexi were really close, but it wasn't the same as them. They had a different dynamic, and with the drugs, Rue had a tendency to hide things even if she didn't say she was hiding things. Hell, she still borrowed Lexi's urine for drug tests. Lexi didn't know if she had been talking to Jules or not, or if someone had told her, but she knew how Rue had been acting. So, Lexi just assumed she knew. Making sure her voice was quiet enough, she sighed. "The night you left? Rue overdosed."

Guilt almost immediately covered Jules face, tears filled her eyes, and she brought her hand over her mouth. "Oh my God... She over--"

"Lexi! Who's at the door?!" Rue shouted before grabbing a hold of the door and opening it up to see Jules. "Jules?" Rue asked, her eyebrows furrowing together, her stomach instantly flipping upside down. "Wh-What are you doing here...?" Rue forgot just how much she missed her and fuck, she was beautiful. "When did you fucking get back? I thought you were still in fucking... You know. The place you went to..." Rue's eyes slowly lowered as memories of her not even being able to look at Jules as she let her leave without her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this first chapter! When I wrote this chapter, I wasn't sure if I was going to continue or not, but I decided to thanks to some amazing people.
> 
> All the chapters I write are short, and I am unsure of how many chapters there will be, but I am going to keep writing until I feel the story should end. Again, thank you. I hope you continue to read and enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Rue and Jules stared at each other for a long moment, and Lexi watched the two of them before feeling a bit like a third wheel kind of how she felt a little before. She wasn't sure if she should stay or go, but she felt as though she should wait until Rue said something. With everything that happened after Jules left, the two of them being alone could either be great or bad. That's what Lexi thought anyways. As if she was reading her mind, Rue turned to Lexi and then back at Jules. "Do you want to come inside? We were just hanging out and watching a movie."

Lexi felt a pain in her stomach as she invited Jules in to watch the movie with them. It wasn't that she was completely jealous, it was just that she felt the two of them weren't a good idea with Rue trying to get better, and she didn't want to see Rue go back to her old ways. She got sober after Jules came along, and after Jules left, she relapsed. Did Jules plan on staying? If she didn't, what would happen with Rue? Finally stepping side, she let Jules in, and she watched the two of them move over toward the couch. Lexi walked over toward them and watched them for a moment before she reached for her purse. "Hey, if you're okay, I think I'm going to go. Do you think you'll be okay if I leave?" Lexi asked Rue. 

Rue turned to look at her and nodded in her direction. "I'll be fine, but you don't want to stay and finish the movie?"

"Um, no, it's okay. We can watch it another time." She did want to stay and watch the movie, but she knew that Rue and Jules would probably want to talk, and she didn't want to start feeling like a third wheel again. "I'm sure you two want to catch up. If you need me for anything, I'm a call or text away. Okay?" Lexi walked over to her and gave Rue a hug. She looked into her eyes and gave her a serious expression. "If you need _anything_, call me." She had no idea what would happen when she left, but she wanted to make sure Rue remembered that she was there for her.

"Yeah, yeah. I will. Thanks." Rue gave her a hug before she watched Lexi leave. When the door closed, she flopped down on the couch and stared up at Jules who was acting weird. It was to be expected that things would be slightly awkward between the two of them after everything, but everything Rue felt for her was still there. Everything Jules felt for Rue was still there too, but neither were sure if they should say anything. None of their feelings had went away for either of them. Jules was able to distract herself with drugs and alcohol, and Rue was able to distract herself through her overdose and spending so much time in a coma, and then with her sister and Lexi - and the occasional drugs she'd sneak. 

Rue noticed the tears in her eyes, and she wasn't sure why she was upset. To help break the awkward tension, Rue laughed lightly and cracked a smile. "What? Are you not happy to see me?"

Jules shook her head and smiled the slightest bit at Rue. "Of course I'm happy to see you - that's why I came. But Lexi just told me..."

Rue's eyebrows furrowed and she tilted her head down. "Lexi told you what?"

It was hard for Jules to say it, because even though Rue overdosing wasn't her fault, she felt it was. "Did you really overdose after I left...?"

Rue started to feel angry that Lexi told her, because she didn't want Jules to know. She knew how Jules felt toward her doing drugs, and the fact that she now knew she wasn't sober anymore really got to her. Tears built up in her eyes and she looked away from Jules, not feeling able to look into her eyes. "It's not a big deal. I'm working on it again," Rue told her, tugging on the sleeves of the hoodie she never takes off.

Jules' eyes widened and she threw her hands up in the air, tears begging to fall. "Not a big deal? Rue! You relapsed and overdosed. That's a huge fucking deal!"

Rue stood up and stared at her, tears in her own eyes building up. "You weren't here, so it didn't fucking matter if you knew or not! It's over and done with, so it doesn't fucking matter. I'm fucking dealing with it!"

"You know I feel about it. If something happened to you--"

"If something happened to me _what?" _You'll leave again?! Are you even staying?"

"Rue! I wanted you to come with me! _You_ didn't want to come. I begged you to come with me, remember?"

"It wasn't that fucking simple! I couldn't just leave everything behind. I had my little sister, my mom, my meds!" Rue reached up and grabbed a hold of her hair, squeezing her eyes shut. "It doesn't fucking matter anymore."

Jules stepped closer to Rue and placed her hands on the side of her neck, her thumb stroking her cheek. Rue felt herself start to melt by her touch and tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Rue..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I'm going to try and continue writing this. I'm not going to write long chapters, so I'll try and post often!


	3. Chapter 3

Jules and Rue looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. Rue could feel herself getting emotional and the tears were making her eyes sting. Jules instantly took notice and she placed her other hand on Rue's other cheek. "What's wrong?" Jules asked, full of concern. She couldn't tell what Rue was thinking, and she needed to know. "What's going on?"

Rue cleared her throat and stepped back away from her, her hands trembling slightly. "I'm really sorry..." Rue told her, her voice shaky. "I know you're probably really mad at me for staying behind and not going with you, and I know you probably thought leaving with you was an easy decision but it wasn't."

Jules frowned and reached out to her. "Rue, hey..."

Rue took another step back and shook her head again. "No, no. I know how you feel about the drugs. I... I never want to hurt you, and I-I'm really sorry. It's just that when you were gone, it felt like this huge piece of me was missing. I-I felt like I fucked up - I fucked _us_ up. And I don't know... I guess I wasn't... staying sober for me..." Rue sniffled and tapped her fingers against her thighs. "I realized after I was able to think a little more clearly that it wasn't... it wasn't anyone's fault, but I wasn't staying sober for me. I was doing it for you. I didn't want to hurt you or upset you, and I was in love with you. I thought if I kept doing drugs, you'd leave me, and the thought of you leaving me scared the hell out of me even if you had feelings for fucking--" Rue started crying softly, knowing she was probably looking like a mess, but she didn't care. Rue usually didn't care about her appearance.

Grabbing a hold of her dad's hoodie, she pulled it up over her head. "I-I'm sorry. That was fucked up to say anything. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore. I was doing so well, and now my mom's back on my ass again."

Jules didn't know what to say to her, because she was a little surprised by her confession. She knew that she made it clear she didn't want Rue doing drugs, but she didn't realize that Rue would stop doing them because of her. "So you stopped because of me? And you started again because of me? You're blaming me for overdosing?!"

Rue's eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. "What the fuck, no! That's not what I fucking meant! I'm blaming myself. I did all this fucking shit for everyone else, and I shouldn't have! If I could change for everyone, I would, but I don't know if it'll ever be for me." Rue didn't want to change, because she loved how the drugs made her feel. When she was sober, she had Jules as a distraction but even then she still had moments where she wanted to get high. When Jules left, there was this loneliness, and she went right back to her old best friend - drugs. 

"That's not what it sounded like, Rue. And that's a little fucked up to blame me."

Rue took steps closer to Jules and shook her head again. "I'm sorry. I'm r-really sorry. I-I didn't mean it like that. Please don't be mad at me." Despite them not talking for so long, she still couldn't stand Jules being upset with her. She loved her and having her stand right in front of her, there was this feeling deep down that couldn't stand the idea of her hating her or being mad at her or wanting nothing to do with her. "I know I hurt you when I didn't go with you, but please don't hate me. You're my best friend," she cried out softly. 

It didn't take long for Jules to push aside what Rue had gone on about and pull her into her arms. "I'm not mad at you, it's okay. You can get sober again. You did it before, and you can do it again. I'm here to stay."

Rue squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around Jules. "Do you still love me...?" She was afraid to ask, but she had to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hurt to write. :|


	4. Chapter 4

_ "Do you still love me...?" _Jules was about to answer Rue when the door opened, and her mom and Gia walked in. Jules pulled away from Rue and turned to look at the two of them, offering them a smile. "Hey." 

Gia frowned when she saw Rue crying, and her mom, Leslie, stared at the two of them. Both of them had a little bit of anger seeing Jules and the fact that Rue was upset didn't help at all. Her mom had told her before not to rush into things, and she liked Jules, but after what happened with the overdose, she didn't think it was a good idea for them to be together the way they were before. Her mom still liked Jules and didn't have anything against her, she just didn't think their relationship was healthy. She knew Rue would do whatever she wanted, because she always did that, but she knew she still had to be her mother and tell her things she didn't want to hear. It was her job.

"Is everything okay?" Rue's mom asked, and Rue wiped the tears away from her eyes, nodding her head. Everything wasn't entirely okay, but she wasn't about to unload to her mom everything that Jules and her had just talked about. It wasn't her business, it wasn't Gia's business, it wasn't anyone's business. All she wanted to know was if Jules still loved her.

Her mom and Gia both turned to look at Jules who suddenly felt like she shouldn't be here. Jules wanted to answer Rue's question, but the way the two of them were looking at her and Rue was giving her an unsettling and awkward feeling. The atmosphere in the room had a drastic change, and she didn't feel comfortable staying in it. Talking to Rue about how she feels and talking to her about deep shit wasn't something she felt comfortable doing in front of her family. "Maybe I should go," Jules told Rue. "We can another time."

As Rue started to shake her head and was about to tell her that she should stay, her mom said, "I think that's a good idea." The moment Rue heard her mom say those words, her eyes widened with anger. How could she say something like that? That wasn't her place. Jules was talking to Rue, not her. Rue watched Jules give her an apologetic look before walking out of the house in silence, going who-knows-where. Hopefully back to her home since she knew where that was and how to get there.

Almost the second the door shut, Rue's eyes darted toward her mom's and she threw her hands up in the air. "What the fuck, mom?!"

"Rue! Watch it!" Leslie told Rue.

"Why would you do that? I haven't seen Jules in almost forever, and the first time she comes over, you make her leave!"

Gia looked back and forth between the two of them, panic and anger filling through her. She hated when the two of them would fight, because it would always go absolutely nowhere and would only make things worse. With everything Rue had been going through lately, fighting was the last thing they needed. "Can you both not start? We just got home..."

"I didn't make her leave, Rue. She said she should go, and I agreed."

"Well, you shouldn't have fucking agreed! She's my best friend! She was talking to _me_, not you!"

"Watch your language! This is _my_ house, you're _my_ daughter, and I have _every_ right to say what I want to our guests," she reminded Rue. "Rue, you overdosed when she left town. Gia and I left to go to the store not even two hours ago, and you and Lexi were happy and watching a movie. We walk in, Lexi's gone, Jules is here, and you're crying! Of course I agreed she should go."

"You have no idea what you're fucking talking about!"

"Will you both stop yelling? Please!" Gia knew the two of them weren't going to stop yelling at each other, but she knew it wouldn't hurt to say anything, and hopefully one of them would stop yelling. Anytime they fought, Gia got upset, and so did the two of them. Gia tried not to show it, but it showed if anyone payed attention to her. Sadly for her, both her mom and her sister were too busy yelling and fighting with each other to notice that it was upset her as much as it did.

"I can't fucking believe you!" Rue shouted, lifting her hand and slammed the palm of her hand against the wall. 

"This is exactly why I agreed. Look at you. Look at your behavior! You are screaming at me and hitting walls all because she left! Whenever Lexi leaves, you're fine. There's no screaming and shouting, no tantrums."

"What the fuck, mom?! Why are you comparing Jules to Lexi?! That doesn't even fucking make any sense!"

"Rue, go to your room and calm down."

"You fucking calm down! You started this whole shit storm! If you didn't tell her she should leave, everything would be fucking fine! This is your fault!" The anger in Rue was high, and she didn't know how much more she could handle staying in the house with her mom. 

"Please stop..." Gia begged, staring at the two of them. 

Rue turned to Gia and frowned before glaring at her mom. "You know what? Fuck it." Rue removed her hoodie from her head, fixed her hair and then put it back on. She headed toward the door and opened it, quickly slamming it shut. If she stayed in that house any longer, she was going to go insane and keeping fighting with her mom. How could her mom tell her Jules should go? The more Rue thought about it, the more stupid she started to feel for not just going after her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still trying to keep the chapters on the shorter side and update quickly! My goal is at least once a day. I'm still not entirely sure where the story is going to go yet, but other characters in the show will be introduced/brought in at some point to help build the story.


	5. Chapter 5

Rue grabbed her bike, lifted her leg and swung it over before taking a seat and riding away from her house. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she had to get as far away from her house as she could. She still couldn't believe the things her mom said to her and how she said Jules should leave. Jules didn't answer her question on whether or not she loved her. Rue had wanted to know - she _needed_ to know. Did Jules saying that she thought she should go was a way of getting out of answering the question? It would have been a great escape route. Jules could have told her yes or no before she left, but she just left in silence. Maybe Rue was over thinking everything, but she wanted to know how Jules felt toward her. It had been what seemed like forever since Jules left and Rue stayed behind, and she had to know if she still had feelings for her and if they were the same.

As she rode her bike, she decided to stop at the nearby gas station to grab a snack. She didn't really feel that hungry, but she thought if she looked around, maybe she could find something. She had a few dollars in her pocket, so maybe she could buy something under a dollar. As she set her bike down against the building, she noticed Nate Jacobs. _That piece of shit._ Why couldn't he just fucking die already or leave town? While she gave him a look, he turned to look at her with this facial expression that she didn't like. "Rue," Nate spoke.

"Nate," Rue repeated, her eyes showing that she was in no mood for his games, and she was especially in no mood for small talk.

"So, you were serious," Nate told Rue.

Her eyes narrowed in on him, and she raised an eyebrow. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Nate couldn't help himself as he let out a laugh that just came across as mischievous. Everything he fucking did came across as mischievous, because he was an evil person, and there was no one who would say otherwise. He was evil, psychotic, insane, and Rue could probably write a whole fucking paper on how shitty of a person Nate Jacobs is, his M.O., and why he needs to be locked up just so everyone in their fucking town would be safe from him and all the shit he does.

"You told me that you could ruin your life better than I could. You didn't even give me the chance to try and ruin yours," he explained to her with a laugh. "You did overdose, didn't you? I heard you were in a coma and almost died."

Rue really did hate him. She would ask how he could say something like that, but he was Nate Jacobs, and it wasn't surprising that the asshole he was would let those kind of words fall from his mouth. His words did hurt her, but she kept her facial expression neutral. She would never let Nate Jacobs out of everyone have the satisfaction of knowing he did what he was trying to do and that was to hurt her feelings. 

"You're right, Nate," Rue told him in a monotone voice, shrugging her shoulders. "I did fucking tell you I could. And for the record, I still stand by what I said to you. Every fucking thing. I'm not fucking scared of you. You can still threaten me like you do everyone else, so go ahead. You don't scare me." There were more things she wanted to say to him, but she didn't have the energy. Shrugging her shoulders, she turned away from him and walked inside of the gas station. She didn't bother looking back at him to see his reaction, because she didn't care. Nate would do what Nate does. The thing she cared about the most was that he didn't fuck with Jules or Fez. She would have mentioned not fucking with them by name, but she didn't know if he knew Jules was back or not, and she wasn't about to say her name.

As she walked around the gas station, her mind wandered back to Jules and what she was going to say. Her eyes glanced out the window to see Nate driving off, and she let out a heavy sigh. "Piece of shit." Rue lifted up her middle finger in his direction, wishing he could see it, but it was best he didn't anyways. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction that she actually gave a fuck in the first place. Rue rolled her eyes and walked back outside, grabbed her bike and hopped on it. She still didn't know where she wanted to go, but she somehow ended up at Lexi's house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I eventually had to bring in the devil.


	6. Chapter 6

Rue set her bike down on the grass and walked up to Lexi's door, quickly knocking on it and pushing her hands in her pockets as she waited. Her eyes glanced down at her shoes as she waited for someone to answer the door, and when the door opened, she was greeted by Lexi. Lexi looked at her with a concerned facial expression, but then again, Lexi was always worried about Rue. When Jules showed up at Rue's door, she worried. After she left, she couldn't stop thinking about what the two of them might have been talking about and what might happen between the two of them. She knew how Rue could get when it came to Jules, so she worried. 

"Can I come in?" Rue asked Lexi, and Lexi instantly nodded. She'd never turn Rue away.

Moving to the side, she used her hand to gesture for Rue to come inside. Lexi watched as Rue walked though the doorway and then closed the door shut behind her. "Is everything okay?" Lexi finally asked.

"No, everything is fucked!" Rue quickly responded, pushing her hoodie off from over her head.

Lexi gave her a confused look, and she crossed her arms over her chest as she listened to Rue. Her eyebrows raised slightly to signal to Rue that she could keep going and that she was listening to what she was saying. 

"After you left, Jules and I were talking, right? I asked her this question, and then not even a minute later, my fucking mom and Gia come home from the fucking store. The worst fucking timing. You know what Jules says? She tells me_ 'Maybe I should go',_ and you know what my mom fucking says?_ 'I think that's a good idea'._ Who the fuck does she think she is? First Jules was talking to me, _not_ her, and why the fuck would she say that? Why would she agree that was a good idea?! Jules just got back and she basically pushed her out of the fucking house!"

Lexi frowned as Rue continued to talk about what happened between Jules and her mom, and she felt bad. She did understand what her mom meant, but she wasn't going to say anything. "And then what happened?" Lexi asked, curious as to how Rue ended up at her house.

Rue let out a humorless laugh and placed her hand over her head. "And then what happened? I got pissed off and left not that long after Jules left, and then want to know the best fucking part of it all? _Nate_."

Lexi raised an eyebrow at the mention of Nate. "What? Nate as in Nate Jacobs? Rue, go back. How did Nate get into this story?"

"After I left my house, I went to the gas station because I wanted a snack," Rue moved her hands from off her head and curled her hands into fists as she continued to talk, "And he had the fucking nerve. _The fucking nerve_ to talk to me!"

"What did he say?"

Rue bit down on her lip hard and shook her head, her eyes looking up as she felt his words hit her again. "Just stupid fucked up shit."

Lexi could tell that he said something that upset her, so she took a step closer to her and frowned. "Rue, what did he say? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Lexi knew that Rue wouldn't be this upset if Nate hadn't said something that really upset her. 

"What? No! He didn't hurt me. He just brought up my fucking overdose and then I went inside."

"Wow. He's unbelievable." It made Lexi mad that he'd bring up her overdose, because it was such a sensitive topic. It wasn't a joke; it was something that was serious. Rue was in a coma, and she almost died because of it. An overdose wasn't something to go make small talk over, and if Nate was the one to talk about it, she was sure it wasn't in a nice way and was probably brought up in a way that was just cruel. Pushing those thoughts aside since Rue didn't seem phased by it, she moved back to Rue's story. "So... before your mom and Gia came home, how was everything with Jules? What did you ask her?"

"... It doesn't fucking matter," Rue told Lexi, shaking her head. She wished Jules would have just answered her question, because maybe if she did, she wouldn't be wondering, maybe she wouldn't have fought with her mom, maybe she wouldn't have ran into Nate. The only good thing that came out of Jules leaving was that Rue ended up back with Lexi. Rue could always count on Lexi for just about everything.

"Of course it matters."

Rue sighed and looked down. "... I asked if she still loved me."

Rue's words caused an odd feeling in her stomach that she didn't like, and she didn't know what it meant. It's happened a few times before, and it usually happened when Rue would talk about Jules. She wasn't sure why, and it wasn't like she was jealous. At least she didn't think she was. Why would she be? "And if she said she did, then what? Is she staying?"


	7. Chapter 7

Rue didn't know if Jules was staying or not, and she wasn't entirely sure what it would mean if Jules loved her back. There were a lot of factors to consider, and Rue wasn't one to really think a lot of things through, but when she was going to leave with Jules, she did start to think through things. She thought of how just up and leaving was a bad idea even though she did want to leave. 

"I don't fucking know. I don't know if she's staying, and I don't fucking know what it would mean if she still loves me, I guess," Rue mumbled to herself. "At the station, she told me she loved me... And I still left. She could have got off the train though if she loved me like she said she did, but she didn't. She fucking left anyways, so did she really love me, or was she just saying that, so I would go with her?"

Lexi frowned and shrugged her shoulders, unsure of the answer to that. She didn't want to say the wrong thing to Rue, and the odd feeling in her stomach was causing her to want to say things that she didn't feel would be helpful. 

"Lexi? Please fucking say something," Rue begged. She needed help from her best friend, because she didn't know what to do, and Jules brought out such an intense amount of emotions. She didn't handle them well, especially when she wasn't around. Lexi was one of the only people who helped keep her sane. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, Lexi bit down on her lip for a moment, shrugging her shoulders again. She didn't know what to say to Rue, but she knew she would need to say something otherwise Rue would probably just leave, and she didn't want her up and leaving. "I think..." And as much as it was killing her to say this, she said it anyways. "I think you need to talk to her... _not_ me. I can't speak for her, Rue. And I don't know if she's staying or what's on her mind. If you want to know, you need to talk to her."

The answer Lexi gave Rue wasn't one she seemed to want to hear. Rue wanted an answer that would help solve her problem here and now. She wanted the answers to her questions now, not in an hour, not in a day, but now. She didn't want to have to ask Jules about it. She didn't want to ask her again if she loved her still and ask if she was still staying, because if Jules didn't love her, then it would just be awkward, uncomfortable, and Rue would feel like shit. Rue had felt like shit enough after she watched Jules leave and left to go home alone, and she didn't need any of those feelings back in her life. Even though Jules was the person she stopped doing drugs for, those feelings stressed her out and made her want to do drugs.

"I fucking hate this!" Rue complained, walking over to the wall and placing her hands and her forehead against it. 

Lexi felt bad that she couldn't help Rue the way she needed her to, so she walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug. "I'm sorry, Rue." Rue pulled away from the wall and hugged Lexi back, placing her head on her shoulder. Lexi rubbed her back and pulled away slightly to look at her. "You'll be okay. You're strong, and you'll figure this out. I'm here for you."

"You're always here for me," Rue said, looking back at her with a gentle smile. 

"That's never changing. So what can I do? I can't give you the answers you need, but is there anything else I can do?" Lexi asked, hoping there was something that she could do.

Rue thought for a moment before speaking, "Well..."


End file.
